I had a very good day today, and now the sledgehammers are back! I didn't tell my wife how bad it hurts because we just bought her a new car and I don't want to ruin the day for her. Besides, there isn't anything that can be done. I only had a few episodes today. I have been trying to push this whole thing to the back of my mind for some time now.
Does that count as denial? I was certain my wife was pregnant and was focusing my thoughts and energy on that. As long as that was a possibility I didn't have to ponder my situation. Now I'm on the 10 day countdown until I get the test and results. Then I get to see what can be done. I'm listening to a Bible drama tonight, "Jehovah Delivers Those Who Call Upon His Name." I'm terrified of my situation. Jehovah has been helping me get through this and I don't know how I could do it without my faith.
The pain feels very much like my coronary artery blockages did. It comes on when my heartrate picks up and hurts until I've rested. Gotta go, getting tired now.