When I start thinking about it, I feel completely normal today. Well rested, not wanting to eat everything in sight, etc... When I try to talk, within a few moments I find it difficult. I lose words, but can get them out eventually. I'm going to the lake with my Wife, son, and some friends. Brooke can't make it. That really bums me out, but I got about 7 years or so before she starts to realize I'm not such a bad guy.
I find it interesting to watch myself. I go through lots of periods of self-pity and frustration. I try to be normal and this thing sneaks up on me! I do my best to laugh it off and simply accept it, but when I am used to feeling eloquent in my speech (especially while drinking :-)) it feels like a big loss. My Mom gave me a good way to look at things...All of those times when I was younger and didn't know when to stop talking...I actually did know, but my timing is several years off! That's funny.
I basically made this blog public with people from work, friends (I have one or two...) and family. It is most convenient for me to share these events in my life this way (no repitition). I haven't told Brooke yet, but she'll find out soon enough. I started writing essays of things I believe and why, both secularly and spiritually. I feel like it is a way to speak later on if this ever gets worse.
I feel kinda down now. It is quite the roller coaster for me. My wife and I are getting good at playing with the dr office admin people. I never realized how incompetence can be contageous, but it seems whenever someone new comes on, things get better and then get worse. I wonder if they are overloaded or if it is something else?
Gotta go, I'm making dinner tonight:-)
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