Family Finances and Humility

Often, men feel that their masculinity is diminished if they relinquish the household finances to their wives. This is not true. A true man will recognize his own limitations and humbly take advantage that he has a wife, and allow her to complement (Genesis 2:18) him and do what she is good at that he is not (This post is written under the assumption that the wife is good at handling the day to day operations of a household, including the responsible use of the family money (1 Timothy 3:11 1 Timothy 5:14) while the husband has difficulty refraining from whimsical spending).

This is not an attempt to diminish a husband's role as head of the household, but actually a responsibility and duty of his if he cannot control his money. As a husband and head of the household myself, I have recognized my limitations and gave my wife the authority over our money. I still have oversight, but she controls all transactions. My finances have never been better.

Over the years, I have gained a valuable education in money and its proper use. Unfortunately, one of my personal weaknesses is a lack of self-control when spending (1 Corinthians 9:25). It is surprising what the Bible has to say about money. When one combines it with the concepts taught of self-control and family headship, it becomes the responsibility of a husband who has difficulty controlling his spending to delegate this important family matter to his wife.

What is money for? The best statement about the purpose for money is actually found in Ecclesiastes 7:12, "money is for a protection." In fact, the Bible does not condemn money in the often misquoted scripture found at 1 Timothy 6:9 & 10. There, it reads, "…the love of money is the root of all sorts of injurious things," (italics and bold-face mine). Notice in verse 9 Paul is emphasizing how it is the determination to be rich (which is caused by a love for money) that causes many problems. Jesus never taught that money itself was evil, nor did he teach that being wealthy is sinful. He did teach that wealth would make it difficult to be a Christian (Luke 18:24, 25). Since humility is a hallmark of a true Christian, it can be inferred that some people who are wealthy will find it difficult to be humble (Psalms 138:6, Proverbs 18:12, Proverbs 22:4).

Since money is for a protection, how does it relate to the family? First, money is how people purchase goods and services. Therefore, money is used to purchase family necessities such as medicine, clothing, food, etc.. A man who intentionally or unintentionally squanders his money is causing undue difficulties on his family, denying them that protection (1 Timothy 5:8). In addition, if a man is refusing to delegate this responsibility because he feels that this would be belittling to him, how is he being humble (2 Timothy 1:1-7 Philippians 2:3)?

Of course, one must wonder then about the role headship plays in this matter. Ephesians reflects the headship arrangement of the family quite clearly (Ephesians 5:21-33 through Ephesians 6:1-4). Yet notice something: for each headship arrangement there is a responsibility to those whom one has authority over as well as someone to whom accountability is owed. For example, the wife may be subject to her husband, but the husband is subject to the Christ as a member of the congregation. In fact, a husband is commanded to love his wife like his own flesh, and also to teach the children of the household and not create irritations among them. It can be seen that the relationships are not to be authoritarian, but loving. Clearly, headship is not about being the boss, but about being held accountable. With that in mind, is it in any way detracting from a man's masculinity when he trusts a doctor to perform a surgery? Then why, if the wife has the skills to properly manage the finances for the better, would you not delegate that responsibility to her? In this situation, it actually becomes your obligation. Otherwise, your lack of skills will result in harm coming to your family, interfering with your ability to provide for them.

It may hurt your pride, and it may be uncomfortable while you get used to it, but if, like me, you have difficulties controlling yourself regarding the family finances, it is better to delegate the task to someone who is. We as husbands should be providing for our families, not our pride. Of course, this means that you must trust your wife. If you don't, then perhaps there is a lot more to the situation than you even want to admit to yourself.

Comments

[Tom Sheepandgoats]

I recall reading in some WT publication that headship has nothing to do with the division of responsibilities. Your post and reasoning provide a good example of that statement.

[J.Conrad]

Thanks. It gets frustrating when people at work make a few jokes at my expense because of that, but I know it isn't with mean intentions. It just gives another contrast as to why I am so different from others.